Why You Shouldn't Validate Negative Feelings of Others

Many people just come up to me and explain how bad their day was, or how much they hate a person, or how bad the economy is... The list could go on forever. And a lot of times they start off talking to me with the intention (mostly subconscious) of getting me to agree with them and make me feel the same way they do. Ever heard of the saying, "misery loves company?"

By the end of this article you'll feel that you shouldn't validate the negative feelings of others because it'll just help them (and you) attract negative outcomes. A better alternative will be to help them acknowledge and release those feelings.

When you validate someones feelings by feeling as bad as they do, you put your focus on the negative experiences that they're talking about. By doing that, you not only amplify their vibrational attraction of negative outcomes, you start vibrating the same way too. Then all of the sudden you are co-creating a reality that reflects that.

Here's an example:

Jim walks into his roommate Alden's room and starts complaining about his "a-hole" boss. Alden, being the good friend that he is, listens attentively and even goes on to say that he agrees with Jim. Alden starts saying things like, "What a Jerk!" And, "That guy deserves a beat down." Alden really starts to feel the anger from Jim's story. Before long, Alden has seeded & cultivate his mind with these negative thoughts. He starts to feel that all bosses are mean, stupid, and cruel.

The next week. Alden gets into an argument with his own boss. He then throws a punch and breaks his jaw. Obviously, he gets fired from his job. And even gets arrested for assault.

Months goes by. Alden can't find a job because of the worsening economy. Ironically, Jim even kicks him out of the house for not being able to pay his share of the bills. Alden goes homeless and eventually goes into deep depression. Bad enough to throw himself off a bridge.

The fall isn't enough to kill him, but just break his spine and paralyzes him from the neck down.

So now Alden is a suicidal homeless paraplegic, with nothing to live for. He could have avoided all this by NOT validating his friend's feelings.

I know this example is a little extreme (and a little tongue-in-cheek I admit), but it does drive the point home!

What would have been better for both Alden and Jim, would be if Alden internally acknowledged that he attracted Jim telling him about his boss, then focus on a positive outcome. Which would probably be, help his friend feel better about the situation by trying to steer the conversation to a positive one ...or just get the hell out of there.

Now you know that, you shouldn't validate the negative feelings of others because it'll just help them (and you) attract negative outcomes. If someone comes up to you with things to vent about, avoid the trap at all costs. It could mean the difference between life and death!